Is this the end, love?

It’s either you try or you would let me go.

The bottom line is… I can’t let you go and I want you to try. I don’t want us to separate but I want you to have a choice of how we will be.

We can remain as friends

Just because you had become so special and I want our friendship to remain as that… well there was actually no friendship but rather fondness.

I love you but it’s not working

I am trying to work it out. I tried but I realized that it’s no longer working. I’m getting tired of pushing myself towards you. I guess it’s your turn to meet me half-way, but if you wouldn’t you leave me no choice…. I don’t want to, but you’re giving me a reason to do so.

I am in love but I am sad and lonely

Just because I couldn’t connect to you. I know you are already on other side of the world, we only have a communication to build things between us but you’re not doing your part to hang on. I am in love with you but this feeling of no connection is making me give up on things.

I am not demanding, but I have my needs

I need to relate with you. I need you to let me feel that at least you care… That you care about how my day was, how my lunch is… how am I. It’s totally a petty thought, a petty reason but I need to feel that you care and it’s not just my company you like. If it’s the latter, let’s just remain as friends as I know I could accompany you but I need to feel that affection if you want us to remain as more than friends.

Will you help me rebuild this relationship?

I love you but I can’t work it on my own. Help me. I need you to do something, I need you to help me to keep on fighting on this relationship. Help me hold on baby. I love you.

how about more stress?

currently, I feel like pulling my hairs out.

I never knew that this is how it feels like when you are loaded with responsibility, that in the end, I don’t know which to handle first.  You see, it’s our Org week today in school, since I am the Internal Vice-President in our org I am holding a lot of responsibility. Unfortunately, since I am also working in my research I couldn’t seem to juggle them both at the same time.

Honestly, the thought of resigning in our org so I could focus on my research is beckoning. It really is a good idea. The only thing that keeps me from not resigning is that it would make me a quitter. I don’t quit.

Seriously, I have been a quitter before. I quit when I know I couldn’t handle too much responsibility but I want to be different this time. I want to finish everything I have started. I wanted change. So, I am not quitting however appealing the idea is.

but I wish I could *sigh*

cinderella minus the shoes

Cinderella gets her transformation right after her cousin had torn her dress. With the help of her fairy god mother she was transformed from an ordinary woman to an extraordinary princess.

Well, ridiculous as it may seem, Cinderella’s story seems to be happening to me. *snicker* *snicker*

I won’t get into details… I’ll just tell you my story.

If there’s something I always have to look forward to, it’s after dinner. You see right after dinner, I would have the chance to get my own transformation.

In my own transformation, I would live in this world so perfect that it almost leave me wanting to stay there forever.  It was a perfect escape from reality. If there was something I could wish for, it was to live there permanently. Happily ever after with my very own prince and with almost a perfect community. 

Like Cinderella, it has a time when it has to end. Also, like her I would leave that perfect place at around 12:00 AM though sometimes if I get lucky would try to extend the time.

When I get back to reality, I would dreamily sigh and try as much as I can to relive the magic.

temporary…

this was supposed to be a long time post but I keep on postponing it that I end up updating it just now. lol. Anyway life was a bit good for  me this time.. it was just sooo right. ♥ I am currently happy and content in fact..

 

God was always good.

 

Umm.. I’ll probably update about Cory Aquino.. I’m feeling the love.

Reaching end

A post for my livejournal account.

In every beginning there’s an end. You walk in, you walk out. You start, you finish.

And it’s always been like that…

I haven’t updated for almost a month now, and it’s my first time again to update. My blog which always made me feel at home, now made me feel a total stranger. I was sort of expecting people would be defriending me now just because my blog wasn’t active. I actually don’t know if I’ll be as active as I was before. Probably yes, probably no. Maybe… just maybe… my blog has reaching its end.

I have seen many users eventually says goodbye to their blog and to their blog friends. It was all temporary for them. I thought mine would be permanent, but apparently I was also like everyone else. I don’t want it to end but somehow my feeling towards blogging starts withering [I partly blame school for draining me out]. Whenever I feel like blogging, I just end up staring at the blank window waiting for ideas to start crawling… but as of late… nothing starts to come.

Well even though I haven’t blogging I wanted to keep in touch by responding to everyone’s journal but apparently, and so unfortunately, I couldn’t keep up with everyone’s entry. I’d like to try to keep up with everyone again. I just don’t know if I’ll be successful.

When I think about leaving this journal and say goodbye to everyone, I realized I couldn’t… because somehow I made friends here and that despite how million miles away we are, we built a single block of friendship and that is enough for me to stay.

I always thought if there’s a chance wherein if someone starts there’ll be no end, if someone comes in and they wouldn’t leave… I don’t know if that happens… but what I am sure of, memories stays forever. And the moments I had with my journal, the simple exchange of comment with everyone, the meaningless rants we had, the drama, it all will last a lifetime for me and it’s not going to say goodbye or leave.

I know couldn’t control you if you defriended me, but if ever you do… I’d like to thank you for sharing your life moments with me, even though how much meaningless your entry may seem.

So is this goodbye? No. I’m not saying goodbye… I’ll just be right back.

ooops..

remind yourself to know the difference between reality and virtual reality… things aren’t going to happen in the real world, so try to remind yourself before you take things seriously.

Also facts remain… Hael knock yourself off.

+ Anyway there’s something I’d like to share and it’s the fact that I’m losing big in Poker. I just lost 150K and I’m quite a bit desperate to get back what I lost, but I guess it’s not going to happen anytime soon.

+ Still no Sera for me. I misss her sooooooooooo much. I wonder where she is. I miss you my friend.

okay sorry for the lame post.

day in paradise

moving on with another kink.

You Sang To Me

i just wanted you to comfort me
when I called you late last night you see
i was fallin’ into love
oh yes, i was crashin’ into love
oh of all the words you sang to me
about life, the truth and bein’ free yea
you sang to me, oh how you sang to me

girl i live off how you make me feel
so i question all this bein’ real
cuz i’m not afraid to love
for the first time i’m not afraid of love

oh, this day seems made for you and me
and you showed me what life needs to be
yea you sang to me, oh you sang to me

all the while you were in front of me i never realized
i jus’ can’t believe i didn’t see it in your eyes
i didn’t see it, i can’t believe it
oh but i feel it
when you sing to me
how i long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
and i promise you this time i’ll see it in your eyes
i didn’t see it, i can’t believe it
oh but i feel it
when u sing to me

just to think you live inside of me
i had no idea how this could be
now i’m crazy for your love
can’t believe i’m crazy for your love
the words you said you sang to me
and you showed me where i wanna be
yea you sang to me, oh you sang to me

almost there.

*snaps back to reality*

I guess this is what I need. I need a grip of what’s reality and fiction. wake up Hael, don’t get yourself into the deep part of the water.

discourage

I almost got into argument with my dad just because he had been provoking me; and he kept on belitting what I can do. I was praying for patience because he was getting on my nerves. I even have to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying something rude.

It always been like that. I never had heard anything very encouringing from him, I don’t know why he does that.

Know when he does it, it makes me feel like nothing. It seems like I am nothing. It’s just depressing.